Justin Wishes He Was Dead
by Lilibet is married to the mob
Summary: Justin avoids certain death at the hands of Tom Marwood and finds happiness in love. But his joy is marred by the one conflict he and his love can never seem to resolve.


Note: Justin Ripley is Luther's assistant and friend. But being Luther's friend can be dangerous. In the third season, Ripley finds out just how dangerous. The following story tells what would have happened if Ripley had not died. How could that awful moment have played out differently, and what would have happened if Marwood failed to kill Ripley?

At the last moment he ducked. A religious person might have sworn that God Himself whispered into Justin's ear, "Now!" At precisely the right moment, Justin bent low and bowled into the man who was pulling the trigger.

The fusillade that would have left Justin's chest a red and bloody mess flew over him. Luther arrived upon the scene very soon after to find Justin atop Tom Marwood. The sawed-off shotgun lay a few feet away from them. Marwood easily pushed Justin aside and leaped up, heading for the shotgun.

But the tall Marwood soon found himself again on his back. After being punched down by Luther, Marwood felt a hard kick to his head – not enough to knock any permanent sense into him but enough to assure he would be out until the ambulance unit arrive.

To Justin, Luther said, "Well done, mate," and extended a hand to help him up from the ground. "Well done."

Justin, too disoriented to speak, was grateful for the miracle of life.

Miracle Miracle Miracle

Of course, Erin Grey saw the glass differently. "Surely this must convince you?" she declared. "The man nearly got you killed. How can this not convince you what he is?"

Justin stared at the woman whose eyes were almost inhumanly wide at the moment. She was on a mission and not to be deterred. There could be no point in trying to talk to her and yet, he was trying.

"I don't think you are seeing the situation clearly," he said patiently.

"He brings death, and those he says he loves are not exempt. It has happened too many times to ignore, too many times for it to be only coincidence."

Without meaning to, Justin let his gaze fall to her mouth, full-lipped, sensuous. He would never forget the feel of them upon his. She had kissed him without warning in case Luther saw her and suspected she was trailing them as part of DSU Stark's investigation.

Although Justin understood she had not meant the kiss, he wondered if she might ever be persuaded to do it again. Probably not, given that they disagreed fundamentally upon the nature of Luther, as one might disagree on the nature of God. Erin called Luther His Satanic Majesty in a not entirely ironic way.

She argued, "You are blind. Even when the man nearly kills you, still you defend him. You refuse to see what he is."

"You cannot blame him for Marwood's crimes. The man already has three public kills in his crusade . . ."

"Luther was the reason you were chasing Marwood alone. You are not the first person close to Luther who has died. Those close to him, _those he says he loves_, are the ones most likely to die. Is he so different from Marwood? The man must be stopped!"

"Marwood or Luther?"

"Both!"

They argued back and forth. He thought her stubborn, proud, single-minded in her bias against Luther and suspected she thought he was soft-headed and overly loyal.

Finally, he lost his patience and threw himself at her, stopping her mouth with his. For a few minutes, she seemed to forget Luther and to be lost in the sensation of him, Justin, upon her. He took pride in his conquest, however fleeting he knew it to be. He did not want stop kissing her but the need for breath forced him to raise his head. He looked into her endlessly deep brown eyes, attempting to find his way to the bottom.

She said, "He will kill you. I know he will. He must be stopped."

He laughed, took a deep breath and plunged again into her mouth.

Miracle Miracle Miracle

Over the next weeks, they spent every spare moment together. For two people manically focused upon their careers, they were creative in squeezing hours, minutes, even seconds from duty-filled days. When they could, they spent long lazy mornings in bed before forcing themselves to rise and go out for coffee, and then to return to bed. They ate a few meals but food seemed an unnecessary luxury as long as they had the other for sustenance. Neither would have predicted the devastating totality of their need and hoped they would bring themselves under control before their co-workers caught wind of it. It was like climbing a mountain range with ever higher elevations, and between peaks he would whisper into her ear that his friend Luther was the finest police detective he had ever known. He wished to convert her.

"How can you admire him so much?" she asked in disgust.

"How can you not?"

"I know it's not just you who believes he is the sterling hero copper. But I believe he will do anything, including sell himself to the highest bidder. That day we had a fire in the squad room, I saw him sneak back to get at Benny's computer. Luther could have asked for any information but he did not. He stole it so there would be no trail when the information fell into the wrong hands."

Justin shook his head, all the while knowing that she was exactly right that Luther had stolen the information. Justin did not know why, only that he been asked by Luther to fix it so that the tampering with Benny's computer was hidden. When Erin forced the issue and demanded an examination of Benny's computer, she looked the fool. Justin felt bad for her but assumed that Luther must have his reasons. That was always the great divide between him and Erin; he would always give Luther the benefit of the doubt while Erin would always think the worse.

But great as the gulf them, it also fueled their passion as they tried to reach out to each other across it. They grabbed and held onto each other all the more because they knew they were miles apart.

Miracle Miracle Miracle

Although captured, Tom Marwood was not one to stay safely in jail. He had created friends and followers in his vigilante crusade against rapists, pedophiles and other scum. Too many saw him as a hero for him not to escape, and he very much wanted to be back on the streets again. His admirers might have thought less of him if they understood the depth of compulsion and megalomania that drove him.

The first thing he did when he escaped was seek out the physician who had unfortunately had saved the life of the killer of Marwood's wife. To punish the doctor's crime, Marwood seized and imprisoned his wife.

Luther once again thwarted Marwood by rescuing the physician's wife. Outraged, Marwood then went after Luther's most recent love interest, an ethereal beauty named Mary.

At this juncture, both DSU Stark and Erin came to the dcision that that Marwood was acting on orders from Luther. They speculated Luther had become tired of Mary and was using Marwood to get rid of her.

Justin told Erin he thought that was ridiculous. She replied, "Why do you think he told Mary to wait for him in his apartment? She barely escaped Marwood. Thanks to Luther, she was there just waiting to be picked off. It would not be the first time a woman who loved John Luther has died violently."

"Not fair, Erin. You know it was not John who killed his ex-wife . . ."

"If she had never known John Luther—or if she had even been able to keep him out of her life once she walked away from him, she would still be alive."Once again, Erin and Justin could only agree to disagree.

Stark and Erin took Luther's Mary to a secure location to protect her. They were certain Luther would send Marwood after her again in a vicious attempt to end a romance Luther had grown tired of.

As it turned out, Marwood did learn the location from Luther's phone, but it was because Marwood had cloned the phone in order to listen to luther's conversations. Luther discovered where Stark and Erin were holding Mary, and the minute he did, Marwood knew, too.

As soon as Luther realized it, he called Stark to beg that he take Mary somewhere else. "Anywhere. Don't tell me. I don't care. But Marwood is on his way to you." Stark thought it was a trick by Luther to bring him and Erin out of the building and into the open where they could be picked off. They stayed put.

When Marwood arrived, he dispatched both Stark with a single blast. He spent longer with Erin because he thought she might be Mary. After Marwood forced her to show ID, he had little further use for her.

Justin arrived with other police upon scene. He could only stare up a landing at Erin's body, toward which ambulance personnel were already scrambling.

He knew better than to get in the way, but it was not his common sense and knowledge that kept him rooted to the spot, unable to move. He was afraid of seeing how badly she was injured. Please don't let her be dead, he begged in his mind. He was not sure of whom he was begging. God? His Satanic Majesty? Or was he blaming himself for siding with Luther against her?

She was so stubborn perhaps she would have been willing to die in order to prove she had been right about Luther all along. If Erin was dead, Justin thought would never forgive Luther. He knew it was irrational and yet, he felt it with the strength of unshakable conviction.


End file.
